Talk: 1 Peter 3:1-7, HTF, 11/7/4
David Heath-Whyte
NB: This is what I intended to say....
Intro
controversy
Turn with me to 1 Peter 3v1-7, page ........
In this passage, the apostle Peter assumes and upholds a view of men and women in marriage that our society, by and large, rejects.
Peter's teaching is based on the idea, consistent throughout the bible, that in a marriage the husband has a special responsibility for his wife and family, so that he is the head of the family, and so that his wife submits to him - that is, she allows him to take that responsibility.
Peter assumes that, he upholds it, and he encourages it - v.1 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands" and so on - and what's worse, at least in our society's view, is what he says about wives: v.7 "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner"
Historically, society has seen women as less valuable than men.
And today, we can see that that is wrong, and that great abuses have come out of that. And we need to change, so that men and women are seen as equally valuable.
Some people will accuse this passage of seeking to maintain in-equality. And they would like to delete it from the Bible. The idea of 'submission' is seen as iniquitous, it is intolerable to say that women are weaker than men.
Maybe your blood pressure was soaring as the readings were read - maybe there's a tenseness here this morning as you wonder what I'm going to say - maybe you've already written me off, and you're going to dose for the next few minutes.
This passage is so alien, so strange, to our society, how can we be expected even to listen to it, let alone learn from it?
be holy
The answer is in 1 Peter 2:11-12 "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."
Are you someone who has trusted your life to Jesus? Then you are an alien and a stranger in this world. It's like being ET - you're living somewhere that isn't your natural environment.
That's the message of 1 Peter so far - because of the Grace of God we are called, 1:15, to be 'holy' - that is, set apart for God, "in the world, but not of the world" - distinctive from the world around us
- distinctive because, 1:3 we've been given new birth into a living hope through Jesus' resurrection
- distinctive because (1:17-22) the world is sinful, in rebellion against God, and we have been forgiven for that by God's grace through Jesus' death
- distinctive because (2:4-10) we are (through nothing we've done or deserve) God's chosen special people.
- distinctive because of the Grace of God.
Submitting to Jesus as our Lord and Saviour sets us on path that is distinct from the world - so we end up like ET - living somewhere that is no longer our natural environment. we become aliens and strangers.
And from 2:13 on, Peter speaks about being holy in all sorts of areas of life.
Remember he's writing around 60AD to Christians in Northern Turkey, where it's difficult to be a Christian - people around them think they're stupid, even evil, and they're under pressure to abandon Christ.
And in the midst of this Peter calls believers to be holy in their relationships - with authorities (2:13-17); as slaves and masters (2:18-25), in general (3:8 onwards), and here (3:1-7), as wives and husbands
In each case, whilst we stay within society, involved with the people around us, we expect to be different.
And in each case, the most profound difference is that Jesus Christ is our Lord.
Tonight's passage is controversial - so alien, so strange to our society, how can we be expected even to listen to it, let alone learn from it?
Because we are called to live as aliens and strangers in our world as we submit to the Lord Jesus Christ.
We're called to be distinctive, so it should be instinctive to put ourselves under the authority of the Bible, the authority of God.
but - value
"But" someone might say: "but that doesn't change the fact that there has been inequality and abuse for women because, historically, society has said that women don't matter as much as men, and it's passages like this that lead to ideas like that!"
And this passage could lead you to think that women are less valuable than men - IF you have the world's view of value and worth.
What makes a person valuable?
God shows us in the Bible a different view of value from the world's view of value.
How does the world see value? In terms of power and wealth - authority and money - and so if a wife submits to her husband, she apparently has less power than him, and so, in the world's view, is less valuable.
How do we solve that? The world now says we liberate her socially and economically - we cut free the shackles so that she can have equal power and money, and so we establish equality on those grounds.
But the Lord Jesus Christ doesn't see value in terms of power and wealth.
Quite the opposite - he sees it in service and sacrifice, and because of his sacrifice for us, our ultimate value is bound up in who we are in him - redeemed by his death, reconciled to the Father by him, recreated with his eternal life - that's where our value is, and that's the case whatever our social or economic 'status'.
You see, it's a sinful view of value that has lead to women being treated as second rate, and ironically the solution the western world has turned to is based on exactly the same wrong view of value.
But: if we get our ideas of value in line with the Lord Jesus Christ, then we'll see, in God's teaching here in 1 Peter about wives and husbands, complete equality of value and worth before God and each other, whilst wife and husband take different roles within the marriage.
And in the rest of the Bible we can see the same within the church: complete equality of value and worth before God and each other, whilst men and women take different roles within the church.
Value in God's eyes is in service and sacrifice.
Wives
So, first, 3:1-6, what does being holy mean for a Christian wife in her marriage?
It means inner beauty - reverence and submission - to help her husband come to know Christ.
inner beauty
power?
Reverence and submission come in those 1st two verses.
1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
- in the same way
"In the same way" is an important phrase here - it comes again in v.7 - "Husbands, in the same way" - and it's kind of assumed in v.8 - "Finally, all of you..."
It looks back to the beginning of this section (2:11-12) it's based on the aim to be holy, to live in a Christlike way because we're God's people - changing ourselves - but changing others too, we hope: having an impact on them, so that they see Jesus as wonderful, through us.
It's not going to be easy, it's going against the flow - but it's serving others just as Jesus served others.
- Jesus' service
Peter had seen this at first hand, hadn't he? How would he ever forget how the last supper began? Jesus, his Lord, washed his feet!
Jesus, at that stage, knew very well he was the Son of God, the Lord of all, he knew he had to die for the sins of the world - making him the most important being ever - and so what did he do? He stripped down, and did the servant's job of washing their feet.
And how could Peter forget his words:
"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord', and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." (John 13:13-15)
Few people in Peter's 1st century world saw submission as valuable - but Peter did, as we do, because of Jesus.
For a wife who trusts Jesus, being Christlike in her marriage means serving her husband, giving herself up for him, allowing him be responsible for her -- knowing all the time that she is supremely valuable - in her submission, because of Jesus.
And for the wife whose husband doesn't trust in Jesus, here's a great encouragement: this will help him to- v.2 "when [he sees] the purity and reverence of your [life]."
It's going to be a distinctive kind of 'submission' - Christlike, showing Jesus to her husband, through her "purity and reverence".
- in the same way
beauty?
Reverence and submission - and this is a kind of inner beauty: verses 3-6.
Have you seen the telly programme where they get people in the street to guess a woman's age, then they give her the works to drop the guesses by as much as possible - makeover, hair, facelift, gym...?
Here's what God thinks:
v.3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
- contrast
'outward adornment' isn't banned - but there's a huge contrast here:
what does the world see as valuable? outward beauty - hence the shelves full of lipstick in Boots, hence the growing market for facelifts and dental work.
what does God see as valuable? v.4: "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit"
where does that come from? the work of the holy Spirit - making women (and men) more like Jesus, who was: "gentle and humble in heart". (Matt 11:29)
This beauty is the inner beauty of a Spirit-led, Christ-like personality - look how v.4 ends - "which is of great worth in God's sight" - this is God's value system.
Peter gives an example: Sarah, Abraham's wife - v.5-6 a "holy woman of the past who put her hope in God" -- when you read about Sarah in Genesis she's a real-life woman- never a walkover - and she treated Abraham with reverence and submission, and made herself beautiful inwardly.
- contrast
summary
Perhaps you are a wife who trusts in Jesus?
Reverence, submission, and inner beauty - it's a struggle isn't it? especially if your husband isn't a believer.
But God's encouragement to you here is that in striving for this, you are being Christlike (serving as Jesus served), you are doing what he sees as valuable, and you are helping your husband to know your Lord Jesus better.
Husbands
and men?
What about the men? v.7
What does being holy mean for a Christian husband in his marriage?
God's answer here is very simple: care for your wife, she's precious.
If you are a follower of Jesus and you are a husband, God wants you to know your wife's needs, her desires and feelings, to be looking out for ways to respond to those needs - honouring her as precious, both to you and to God.
considerate respect
This is all in v.7 "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
Again he says "in the same way" - it's based on the aim to be holy, Christlike lives because we're God's people - serving as Jesus served.
Where it says 'be considerate', it means act according to what you know - so make sure you that you do know your wife - her needs, what she longs for.
"Be considerate" could mean: sure, play lots of golf - but make sure she's got something to keep her occupied while you're out.
But it doesn't, does it? It's much stronger: Think about your golf: how would it help your wife if you spent less time and money with golf, and more with her?
And then "treat them with respect" has also got a very strong meaning: honour her as someone who is precious, special to you and to God.
Why this care and respect?
because (v.7) she's the weaker partner! sharp intake of breath!
But don't let the world's sense of values catch you out - the world says 'weak equals worthless' - but here the point is: weak equals special, with special care needed.
Like a beautiful crystal vase - it's weak: if you drop it - smash; but it's very valuable, and worthy of special care.
In general, on average, women are physically less strong than men - the Olympics are coming up, and the women will throw the javelin less far, jump less high, run less quick.
And women, medically speaking, on average, have more to cope with than men - and it's in these ways that they are 'less strong', but that makes them worthy of special care.
Husbands: know your wives, and respond to their needs.
And don't forget that they are, if they trust in Christ, v.7 "heirs with you of the gracious gift of life" - spiritually speaking, before God, you are the same - both sinners who are loved by God, forgiven and brought to new life only by God's grace, through faith in Jesus Christ.
Your wife is special to God - she must be special to you, too.
And that way - end of v.7: "nothing will hinder your prayers" - that seems to be focussing on your prayers together - as husband and wife: that by caring for your wife in this way, you help her to know God more, and the times when you pray together will be special times.
Here is God's message for Christian husbands: care for your wives, they are special.
As a follower of Jesus Christ, an heir of the gracious gift of life, know your wife's needs, her desires and feelings, be looking out for ways to respond to those needs - treating her as precious to himself and to God.
if only...
And when you think of it, if husbands had always behaved like this, women would never have been seen as second rate, of lower value than men.
And today this is still the best way for Christian husbands to behave - it encourages men away from the "laddish"ness that treats women as objects, and the "laziness" that treats women as slaves - and towards a responsible care that recognises women as people, and that fulfils the role God has given to husbands.
Husbands: care for your wives.
Conclusion
Well, controversial it may be, but it's yet another sign of the Grace of God that he makes this known to us, and encourages us to be holy, showing us what is the best for each other, helping us to walk his ways.
As those who trust in Jesus, what are we called to do?
to be holy - to take seriously God's values, living under his Word the Bible; to challenge the world around us, to base our lives on Jesus Christ, helping others to see Jesus as well as hear about him.
What will this mean for wives? submission and inner beauty - valuable in God's sight, helping their husbands to know Christ
For husbands? considerate care - honouring their wives as precious.